So I’m at work yesterday.  Dude who does a lot of our hardcore plumbing is there, with his helper.  Also there’s my dad and Larry (dad’s wife’s son).  And me.  Arrybody else is a dude, but I’m not.  Mostly this is not a problem, but sometimes it’s weird.

Yesterday, plumber dude was relating story wherein some godawful former tenant of mine was talking to him like yeah, I rented off that whichchick, she’s a fuckin’ bitch.  (Small town life, I love you so hard.)  This was related jocularly because I apparently was to find it amusing, being called a fuckin’ bitch by an ex-tenant.  Whatevs.

And so I say to our Plumber dude, whom I genuinely like, “Mike, y’know what a bitch is?”  And he goes all shamefaced and starts in with “Technically it’s a female dog blah blah.”  And I’m, “Nope.  Not at all.  A bitch, Mike, is a woman who gets her way, generally in a manner that upsets men.”

So ages ago, Kazam had about been through Riding Readiness and was pretty much to Meet the Tack.  And then we moved him up over the hill with Tamora to the small field and I am lazy enough to start working with something else instead of walking up over the hill.  So I did Saffron (done) and Saguaro (also done) instead of continuing on with Kazam.  (What I did with my summer vacation:  Broke two horses to saddle.)  

But Kazam was still outstanding in his field, so… yeah.  Bird’s not old enough (Brigadoon, Dooniebird, Bird, the silken heir of desert blood who is my not-quite-four project horse) to start quite yet and the competitive ride stuff is over for the year, so I figured I could probably get on Kazam before the snow this fall.

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I have to fight the urge, every October, to scream loudly that women are a lot more than the two bags of fat and mammary tissue on the front of their chests.  Everybody else is all “Save the ta-tas!!” and I’m like fuck, first hint of cancer and I’m cutting those assholes right the hell off.  I can live without them.  They cannot live without me.  I am MORE IMPORTANT than my tits.

Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

October is Breast Cancer Month because women without tits aren’t very interesting.


Sorry, did I say that out loud?

In Saturday’s paper there was a story about the ACLU taking an interest in the Jesus Statue Simulated Blowjob case.  This is going to cost the county shittons of money.  I can’t believe that Bill Higgins (our District Attorney) is taking the moral high ground here despite the fact that he, as a married man, fucked a woman other than his wife in our brand-new several-million-dollar courthouse what happened to be equipped with, er, security video cameras.  VIDEO cameras.  Like, that’s how we know he did it.   Source He also copped to the charge, on the record.  And he said he was sorry.  We re-elected him after.

Our District Attorney is an ass.  The county is full of redneck idiots.

"I guess I should take solace in the fact that the liberals are mad at me - again," Higgins said Thursday on his Facebook page. "As for this case, this troubled young man offended the sensibilities and morals of OUR community. … His actions constitute a violation of the law, and he will be prosecuted accordingly. If that tends to upset the ‘anti-Christian, ban-school-prayer, war-on-Christmas, oppose-display-of-Ten-Commandments’ crowd, I make no apologies."   Source

Apparently the sensibilities and morals of OUR community are A-OK with our District Attorney engaging in videotaped marital infidelity in the courthouse but NOT OK with stupid fourteen year old kids behaving inappropriately with a concrete statue and posting pictures of same to Facebook.  Poor judgment is apparently only wrong when you’re not the District Attorney.

Besides, didn’t that Jesus fellow allegedly say something about casting stones?  Maybe?

For your reference and mine, let us look at the book of John in the New Testament.

KJV, JOhn 8-1:  

1Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. 2And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. 3And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, 4They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. 5Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? 6This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. 7So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. 8And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. 9And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? 11She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

I think we could maybe learn a lot from this story.



i hope that, wherever my hair ties go, they’re happy. that’s all that matters


Hairtie life cycle:

1.  Hairties are purchased and used as intended.

2.  Hairties get left on the coffee table.

3.  In the dark of night, hairties migrate to underneath the stove and underneath the fridge.

4.  My cats lounge about uselessly pretending to be innocent regarding the Great Hairtie Migration

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